Man Not Drunk Enough To Fully Enjoy 80’s Cover Band

If only I was old enough to drink when these songs first came out.

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Austin, TX — John Sidwell, along with the rest of his khaki-clad office, sit quietly at their company Christmas party, still not drunk enough to enjoy 80’s cover band “Gunz and Poseurs”.

“Jesus, I can’t believe they brought in an 80’s cover band for our company Christmas party.    The 80’s were 30 years ago.  We are as far away from the 80’s as we were from the 50’s when I was a kid, and if someone had brought in a 50’s band for my father’s party…”  John paused, looked down at his bourbon and coke and swallowed it in a violent gulp.  “Christ I’m old.  I’m gonna need about 9 more of these before I can even hope to enjoy myself,” John said as the band started to play Don’t Stop Believing by Journey.  Gunz and Poseurs went on to recite some of the 80’s seminal hits, including Every Breath You Take, Whip It!, Come on Eileen and Jenny – 867-5309.  With each successive hit, Sidwell sank a little deeper into alcoholic oblivion.  Each song a race to the bottom of his glass trying to escape the impending doom of his own mortality.

After his 6th bourbon and coke, Sidwell did finally crack a smile when the band broke out in Sweet Child O’ Mine.  “Now that’s what I’m talking about!  Whooooooo!  Guns and Roses rule forever!”.  By that point, others in the audience had reached a similar level of inebriation and they gathered on the dance floor to shame their generation with their “moves”.  The slightly overweight desk-bound crowd of middle-aged parents for a moment felt like they were 16 again, dancing with neither abandon nor skill.  Younger versions of themselves would have mercilessly mocked the group on the floor as being hopelessly lame.  The gyrations on the floor would have been more at place in a John Hughes film than Flashdance or Fame.

By the time Sidwell consumed his 10th bourbon and coke, he was in rare form and absolutely loving Gunz and Poseurs.

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