Sunday, December 17, 2017

IT Announces eBay As Strategic Supplier

Cedar Park, TX -- Bob Zelnick, CIO of Infinibiz, proudly announced via email to the entire company today that the IT Department has selected...

Project Management Institute Announces New Enrichment Classes

Newtown Square, PA -- The Project Management Institute has released their latest courses for Project Management Enrichment.   Reporting and Metrics Advanced Managerial Pie Charts Metrics make or...
Documentation

Process Documentation a Chronicle of Incompetence

Round Rock, TX – John Dempsey, 34, looked on the step by step process detailing the creation of a new UNIX user ID with...

Congress Consults with Comcast to Improve Approval Ratings

Washington, DC -- Congress is consulting with Comcast on how to improve its dismal public approval rating by the American public. "Comcast is a true...
HR

HR Rep Quietly Logs Who Declines Community Service Events

Austin, TX -- HR Generalist Sue Steffington clucks her tongue as she reviews her list of heartless bastards who are too self-absorbed to give...

Jamaican Culture Successfully Commercialized

Falmouth, Jamaica -- Trump University scientists announced today that they have finally reduced the rich, complex culture of Jamaica into a successful commercial vehicle. "We proudly announce today that...

Fourth Wall Broken at All-Hands Meeting

Dallas, TX --  At a recent all-hands meeting, CEO Rod Templestein broke the fourth wall, briefly talking to his employees rather than at them. Templestein,...

IT Connects ELIZA to Ticket System, Satisfaction Soars

Austin, TX -- After a recent disastrous attempt to outsource and offshore their internal front line call center, FlashNet Systems' IT department recently connected...
Comcast Buys Domino's

Comcast Buys Domino’s

Philadelphia, PA -- Comcast announced it has signed a definitive offer to acquire Domino's Pizza for $5 Billion in an all cash deal.  "This...
Taiwan

Apple Addresses Growth — Buys Taiwan

Cupertino, CA Tim Cook today reassured investors that Apple is taking its slowing growth in the China market seriously by outright purchasing Taiwan. "Purchasing...