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Monday, February 18, 2019

Congress Consults with Comcast to Improve Approval Ratings

Washington, DC -- Congress is consulting with Comcast on how to improve its dismal public approval rating by the American public. "Comcast is a true...

Executive Outsources Parenting Responsibilities

Austin, TX -- Rod Templestein, an executive at Floosbin, recently selected a suitable supplier to outsource the parenting of his only son, Jayce. Templestein called a...

Fourth Wall Broken at All-Hands Meeting

Dallas, TX --  At a recent all-hands meeting, CEO Rod Templestein broke the fourth wall, briefly talking to his employees rather than at them. Templestein,...
Documentation

Process Documentation a Chronicle of Incompetence

Round Rock, TX – John Dempsey, 34, looked on the step by step process detailing the creation of a new UNIX user ID with...

Celebrating Diversity: Company Promotes First Openly Incompetent Manager To Vice President

Austin, TX -- After years of openly discriminating against incompetence, Global Dynamics this week finally became a large enough company that it promoted an...
Taiwan

Apple Addresses Growth — Buys Taiwan

Cupertino, CA Tim Cook today reassured investors that Apple is taking its slowing growth in the China market seriously by outright purchasing Taiwan. "Purchasing...
Hanes IoT

Hanes Enters IoT Market With ConcieveWear

Winston-Salem, NC -- Hanes, the clothing manufacturer known for their affordable undergarments, is entering the IoT (Internet of Things) market with their temperature monitoring underwear....

IT Connects ELIZA to Ticket System, Satisfaction Soars

Austin, TX -- After a recent disastrous attempt to outsource and offshore their internal front line call center, FlashNet Systems' IT department recently connected...

Project Management Institute Announces New Enrichment Classes

Newtown Square, PA -- The Project Management Institute has released their latest courses for Project Management Enrichment.   Reporting and Metrics Advanced Managerial Pie Charts Metrics make or...

CFO Names Capybara New CIO

Austin, TX -- George Ramos, CFO to AcceleCorp, today name Sue the Capybara to be the next CIO of the company. "We talked to every...