Sunday, December 17, 2017

Latest Trump University Poll Has Trump Ahead By Like, 1,000 points

New York, NY -- The Trump University Poll of Public Opinion has found that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by like, 1,000 points. Professors...

Americans Nostalgic For Days Of Simpler Scandals Like Watergate

Washington, DC -- Americans are growing nostalgic for simple, cut and dried scandals such as Nixon's Watergate break in, or even the Bill Clinton...

Nicolas Cage To Hurl Trump’s Phone Into Volcano To Save Democracy

Washington, DC -- Nicolas Cage, sitting in counsel with his wisest friend, Gary Busey, determined this week that in order to save democracy, they...

Secret Service Frightened of Next Presidential Workload

Washington, DC -- Regardless of the outcome of the November elections, the Secret Service is frightened of their next Presidential workload. Our source at the...

Lawyer Is Most Ethical, Respected Member of Trump Campaign

New York, NY -- Attorney Jared Johnson is by far the most ethical and respected member of the Trump for President campaign. "At first it...

Hillary Hires Geek Squad To Secure Email Servers

Brooklyn, NY -- Hillary Clinton today announced that she has retained the services of the Geek Squad to secure her campaign and DNC email...
Bernie Sanders

Sanders’ Wife Getting Tired Of Hearing “Come Feel the Bern, Baby”

Burlington, VT -- Jane O'Meara Sanders, wife of Senator Bernie Sanders, is really tired of the Senator ending most days with "Come feel the Bern,...
Grandmother

Grandmother’s Assessment of Candidates: “Well, Bless Their Hearts”

College Station, TX -- Jason Tatum's Grandmother offered her considered opinion of the 2016 Presidential candidates by beginning her comments with "Well, bless their...
Hillary Clinton Presidential Candidate Library

Hillary Planning Presidential Candidate Library

Brooklyn, NY --  Hillary Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee for President, is now accepting donations through the Clinton Foundation for her Presidential Candidate Library,...

Congress Consults with Comcast to Improve Approval Ratings

Washington, DC -- Congress is consulting with Comcast on how to improve its dismal public approval rating by the American public. "Comcast is a true...