Round Rock, TX — GreatTech CFO Don Rafferty announced in an inappropriately enthusiastic email that the IT and Janitorial Departments will hold a joint holiday party this year.
“I am pleased to announce that, contrary to previous rumors, that both the IT and Janitorial Departments will in fact have a holiday party this year! While times are indeed tough and we continue to face headwinds in our business, the Executive Team and I were determined to make this happen. In the spirit of cost efficiency and synergy, we will be consolidating these two previously separate events into one, recognizing not only the congruence of your duties but your importance to the company. When I was thinking about the similarities between these two great organizations, I thought to myself ‘One organization cleans up the messes our revenue-generating employees create and the other scrubs toilets. This is synergy at its finest.’ Our employees are our Number One Asset, so get ready to party hearty! Here are the details:
When: Sunday, December 18, 2:00 PM to 4:00 pm
Where: Golden Corral, South Side
Dress: Business/Janitorial casual
Unfortunately, this year we are unable to invite family members to attend due to the cost of the event. On behalf of the entire Executive Team, we wish you all Happy Holidays!”
IT staff reacted positively to the announcement, thankful that their company was providing any kind of free meal for them at all. “Would I like it better if they took us out to lunch during a work day instead of on Sunday since we can’t bring spouses? Absolutely. But no way am I turning down anything free from this cheap-ass place, even if it is Golden Corral”, said Bruce Tarrington, Senior System Administrator.
Janitorial staff, however, had a decidedly negative reaction. “Hey look, I’m glad to have a holiday party, but do we have to do it with the IT guys? I mean, come on. How humiliating is it for us to have to share our party with them?”, lamented John Stanzie, Senior Custodial Specialist.
Rafferty went on to present to the Board of Directors his overall cost savings of $500 by holding the joint party for the similar job functions, earning him a $10,000 bonus.