Janitorial Staff Hires Relationship Manager


Pflugerville, TX — The janitorial staff at A.E. Luskin, a small office supply manufacturer, recently hired a Relationship Manager to better interface with The Business.

In recent years, the janitorial staff has struggled how best to meet business needs with their ever-changing requirements.  One week, they need trash removed twice a week.  The next, after receiving their updated cost allocation as a result, they only want trash removed once a month.  Facilities then instituted a policy of simply hanging a sign from the office door to signal to janitorial services that it is time to clean the office, but very quickly The Business concluded that they were much too busy to remember to do that.  Facilities just had to figure out the best way all by themselves, with no further involvement from The Business.

Janitorial services management sat down to create increasingly complex Excel spreadsheets to forecast trash and cleaning demand, employing new statistical models to keep ahead of The Business without actually having to talk to The Business and disturb Them from Their important duties.

Unfortunately, even this attempt ultimately failed, as The Business proved to defy all prediction on janitorial demand.  This led Facilities management to decide that they needed a Relationship Manager to liaise with The Business.  They needed someone who understood the janitorial sciences as well as had business experience.

This led to Steve Valcharian joining the Facilities team.  Steve immediately made an impact on the staff when he announced that he would meet with all of the Senior VP’s and even the CEO to determine their requirements.  Unfortunately for Steve, after meeting with the CEO he was immediately fired for being a waste of organic material.

This led to the hiring of Jeremiah Goldberg, who took a more “down to earth” approach.  On a weekly basis, Jeremiah would enter the office of 5 key engineers and simply let them scream at him for 20 minutes.  The effect was therapeutic, and in no time Steve won over The Business.  Unfortunately, nothing truly changed for the actual janitorial staff, but now they had a Relationship Manager, and by Facilities management standards, that was just dandy.