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Thursday, November 21, 2019

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EDITOR'S CHOICE

Accenture SOW Wins Hugo Award For Science Fiction

Dublin, Ireland -- In an unprecedented development, Accenture has won the prestigious Hugo Award for Science Fiction for a recent Statement of Work. Martin Fitzwater,...

Couple Moving To Texas Horrified To Learn Keeping Bacon Grease A Thing

Fort Worth, TX -- A couple who recently accepted job offers in Texas learned to their utter horror that Texans regularly save bacon grease for...

Trump Denounces Grammar Nazis

Washington, DC -- President Trump today denounced the "Grammar Nazis who regularly misuninform people about my statements and tweets." "As I said in the campaign,...

Realizing Synergy: IT, Janitorial Staff To Hold Joint Holiday Party

Round Rock, TX -- GreatTech CFO Don Rafferty announced in an inappropriately enthusiastic email that the IT and Janitorial Departments will hold a joint...

LATEST

Dublin, Ireland -- In an unprecedented development, Accenture has won the prestigious Hugo Award for Science Fiction for a recent Statement of Work. Martin Fitzwater,...

BUSINESS

Accenture SOW Wins Hugo Award For Science Fiction

Dublin, Ireland -- In an unprecedented development, Accenture has won the prestigious Hugo Award for Science Fiction for a recent Statement of Work. Martin Fitzwater,...

Realizing Synergy: IT, Janitorial Staff To Hold Joint Holiday Party

Round Rock, TX -- GreatTech CFO Don Rafferty announced in an inappropriately enthusiastic email that the IT and Janitorial Departments will hold a joint...

Celebrating Diversity: Company Promotes First Openly Incompetent Manager To Vice President

Austin, TX -- After years of openly discriminating against incompetence, Global Dynamics this week finally became a large enough company that it promoted an...

CFO Names Capybara New CIO

Austin, TX -- George Ramos, CFO to AcceleCorp, today name Sue the Capybara to be the next CIO of the company. "We talked to every...

TECHNOLOGY

Hillary Hires Geek Squad To Secure Email Servers

Brooklyn, NY -- Hillary Clinton today announced that she has retained the services of the Geek Squad to secure her campaign and DNC email...

IT To Roll Out New “Palm Pilot” Devices

Buda, TX -- The IT Mobility Team proudly announces the completion of a multi-year, cross-functional, international team effort to enhance employee productivity. "These new 'Personal...

Dell Announces New Gluten-Free Line Of Computers

Round Rock, TX -- Dell announces new gluten-free line of computers -- the Artisan Line. Frances Jamison, Product Line Manager of the Artisan line, described...

Realizing Synergy: IT, Janitorial Staff To Hold Joint Holiday Party

Round Rock, TX -- GreatTech CFO Don Rafferty announced in an inappropriately enthusiastic email that the IT and Janitorial Departments will hold a joint...

ENTERTAINMENT

Nicolas Cage To Hurl Trump’s Phone Into Volcano To Save Democracy

Washington, DC -- Nicolas Cage, sitting in counsel with his wisest friend, Gary Busey, determined this week that in order to save democracy, they...

Lin-Manuel Miranda Announces Expanded Hamiltonian Universe

New York, NY -- Fresh off of his Tony Awards success for the smash Broadway hit Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda today announced the Expanded Hamiltonian...

HBO Announces Game of Thrones Reboot

New York -- NY Despite there being at least one more season of the critically acclaimed and popular series, HBO has announced it will...
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