Washington, DC — President Trump today denounced the “Grammar Nazis who regularly misuninform people about my statements and tweets.”
“As I said in the campaign, and these are the words I stick by, I am, like, a smart guy whom uses all the best words. Â See, I even know when to use whom. Â Most people don’t know when to use who or whom. Â It’s tricky, but because of my smartness I totally get it. Â Believe me. Â These Grammar Nazis are printing FAKE GRAMMAR NEWS about how bigly my vocabulary is. Â Honestly, and believe me, believe me, nobody cares about whether or not I use ‘there’ or ‘their’ in a tweet. Â Say those words out loud. Â Just say them. Â Can you tell a difference? Â Neither can I, neither can I. Â They are really the same words. Â All of this comments about possessives or pronouns or possessive pronouns — no one really cares. Â What do we care about? Â Making America Great again. Â That’s right, friends. Â Taking issue with me saying things like ‘I’m not unproud’ of my late night tweets. Â See I’m not a politician. Â OK? Â I’m not a politician by trade. Â I’m a businessman. Â I do deals. Â I’ve done more greater deals in my lifetime than every of the members of Congress put together. Â They couldn’t do a deal that would make America great again if they saw it in fires in the sky. Â There idea of doing great deals are things like NAFTA and TPP. Â The FAKE NEWS wants to make up all these stories about my so-called bad grammar. Â They should look at themselves in the mirrors before throwing stones at me. Â There grammar isn’t so well either. Â But let’s not make this about them. Â Let’s make this about me. Â See, I one the election. Â They said I couldn’t do it. Â They said that the math didn’t work out for the Electoral College. Â But I fooled them. Â Just like that song by the Who. Â “I won’t be fooled again”. Â That was me. Â They didn’t know it, but that was me. Â And so, I shown the Grammar Nazis and the Math Nazis, and believe me, there are Math Nazis out there. Â They’re always coming to me saying things like ‘oh, Mr. Trump, we have to pay these contractors because they did work for us’, and I tell them ‘You need to go look at the math again. Â I don’t see where they did work’. Â So yes, I have the best words and the best maths. Â I condemn all Nazis, whether they are Grammar Nazis or Math Nazis. Â Their hatred of me goes very much deep, because they are afraid of me draining their swamp. Â Their really like a bunch of Shreks. Â The cartoon guy? Â Yeah. Â He lived in a swamp.”
Attempts to get quotes from several prominent English professors at colleges around the country were unsuccessful. Â We did, however, receive a copy of the interview with President Trump heavily marked up in red ink with no additional comments.