Sanders’ Wife Getting Tired Of Hearing “Come Feel the Bern, Baby”

"I'm afraid he's going to come home from the Convention an absolute horndog"

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Burlington, VT — Jane O’Meara Sanders, wife of Senator Bernie Sanders, is really tired of the Senator ending most days with “Come feel the Bern, baby.”

“It was cute at first, when his candidacy was young and vibrant.  It was an exciting time.  He was gaining new supporters, rallies were getting bigger.  There was a palpable machismo around him and his growing following.  I admit that I enjoyed, even encouraged, his use of the phrase at first.  But after this prolonged and now doomed primary season, I dread hearing those words at night.”

“Make no mistake about it, even though Bernie is 74, he is still a virile man.  He doesn’t even need Viagra.  I just wish people would stop chanting it at rallies.  It really eggs him on.  And the bumper stickers…oh my God…”

FEELTHEBERN.svgMrs. Sanders is particularly worried about the outcome of this week’s Democratic National Convention.  Senator Sanders has moved Hillary Clinton to the left and forced the party platform to be more progressive.  By all accounts, his participation in the primaries was more consequential than Secretary Clinton’s in defining the party’s agenda for this election.  And after the latest scandal showing that the Democratic National Committee did indeed appear to be tipping the scales in favor of a Clinton nomination, Mrs. Sanders fears her husband will come home to Vermont an absolute horndog.

“After Alaska, I couldn’t walk for three days.  After all the attention and progress he’s made this week with the DNC and the resignation of Wasserman and pulling the party more to the left, I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to walk for a week,” said a forlorn Mrs. Sanders.

When asked for a comment, Senator Sanders simply winked and said “She’s gonna feel the Bern this weekend all right.”

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