Cleveland, OH — When Donald Trump is nominated in Cleveland, OH on July 21, 2016, he promises that the affair will be truly “multicultural”. “It’s going to be fantastic. We’re going to have the blacks and the hispanics and the Asians and the Jews all carrying me on my Inaugural Litter, just like the Romans did with Julius Caesar. You know, he was also underestimated by a lot of people, but look at what he did! He made Rome great again, and that’s just what we’re going to do to America.” When asked about the symbolism of having a billionaire politician carried forth on a litter consisting primarily of minorities and underrepresented people of America, the Trump campaign waived off any criticism of the symbolism, saying “Donald Trump is doing nothing different with this act than he has with any of his other business dealings.”
“This inauguration is a historic day for the minorities of this land. Never before have they had the opportunity to so directly hold their new leader literally on their shoulders as he gets ready to defeat that awful, awful woman. I mean really, could she be any worse? Total liar. Anyway, these blacks and whatnot should totally feel honored for what they are about to do.”