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Sunday, May 9, 2021

Accenture SOW Wins Hugo Award For Science Fiction

Dublin, Ireland -- In an unprecedented development, Accenture has won the prestigious Hugo Award for Science Fiction for a recent Statement of Work.Martin Fitzwater,...

Director Forwards Cryptic Email

Fort Worth, TX -- Local IT Director Bob Lassiter today forwarded an email from the Marketing Department to his extended management team saying only...

Celebrating Diversity: Company Promotes First Openly Incompetent Manager To Vice President

Austin, TX -- After years of openly discriminating against incompetence, Global Dynamics this week finally became a large enough company that it promoted an...

Congress Consults with Comcast to Improve Approval Ratings

Washington, DC -- Congress is consulting with Comcast on how to improve its dismal public approval rating by the American public."Comcast is a true...
Hanes IoT

Hanes Enters IoT Market With ConcieveWear

Winston-Salem, NC -- Hanes, the clothing manufacturer known for their affordable undergarments, is entering the IoT (Internet of Things) market with their temperature monitoring underwear....
HR

HR Rep Quietly Logs Who Declines Community Service Events

Austin, TX -- HR Generalist Sue Steffington clucks her tongue as she reviews her list of heartless bastards who are too self-absorbed to give...

IT Announces eBay As Strategic Supplier

Cedar Park, TX -- Bob Zelnick, CIO of Infinibiz, proudly announced via email to the entire company today that the IT Department has selected...

Fourth Wall Broken at All-Hands Meeting

Dallas, TX --  At a recent all-hands meeting, CEO Rod Templestein broke the fourth wall, briefly talking to his employees rather than at them.Templestein,...
Comcast Buys Domino's

Comcast Buys Domino’s

Philadelphia, PA -- Comcast announced it has signed a definitive offer to acquire Domino's Pizza for $5 Billion in an all cash deal.  "This...
Janitorial Staff Hires Relationship Manager

Janitorial Staff Hires Relationship Manager

Pflugerville, TX -- The janitorial staff at A.E. Luskin, a small office supply manufacturer, recently hired a Relationship Manager to better interface with The...
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