Apple Addresses Growth — Buys Taiwan
Cupertino, CA Tim Cook today reassured investors that Apple is taking its slowing growth in the China market seriously by outright purchasing Taiwan. "Purchasing...
You Personally Are Holding Up Entire Company
Dallas, TX -- I am totally blocked right now. This is urgent. URGENT. !!!! Did you change something? I have not changed anything. This...
Process Documentation a Chronicle of Incompetence
Round Rock, TX – John Dempsey, 34, looked on the step by step process detailing the creation of a new UNIX user ID with...
IT Connects ELIZA to Ticket System, Satisfaction Soars
Austin, TX -- After a recent disastrous attempt to outsource and offshore their internal front line call center, FlashNet Systems' IT department recently connected...
Janitorial Staff Hires Relationship Manager
Pflugerville, TX -- The janitorial staff at A.E. Luskin, a small office supply manufacturer, recently hired a Relationship Manager to better interface with The...
Comcast Buys Domino’s
Philadelphia, PA -- Comcast announced it has signed a definitive offer to acquire Domino's Pizza for $5 Billion in an all cash deal. "This...
Executive Outsources Parenting Responsibilities
Austin, TX -- Rod Templestein, an executive at Floosbin, recently selected a suitable supplier to outsource the parenting of his only son, Jayce.
Templestein called a...
Jamaican Culture Successfully Commercialized
Falmouth, Jamaica -- Trump University scientists announced today that they have finally reduced the rich, complex culture of Jamaica into a successful commercial vehicle.
"We proudly announce today that...
Hanes Enters IoT Market With ConcieveWear
Winston-Salem, NC -- Hanes, the clothing manufacturer known for their affordable undergarments, is entering the IoT (Internet of Things) market with their temperature monitoring underwear....
Realizing Synergy: IT, Janitorial Staff To Hold Joint Holiday Party
Round Rock, TX -- GreatTech CFO Don Rafferty announced in an inappropriately enthusiastic email that the IT and Janitorial Departments will hold a joint...
