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Austin
Monday, March 30, 2020
Scientific Study

Summary of Landmark Study Confirms Your Biases

Austin, TX -- Your reading of a summary of a landmark new study in the prestigious journal Nature has confirmed all of your deeply-held biases. The...

State Fair of Texas to Set Up Cardiologist Stations

Dallas, TX -- The State Fair of Texas will set up emergency cardiologist stations throughout the fair grounds this year as a courtesy to...

Authentic Chinese Food Prepared by Authentic Mexicans

Austin, TX -- Local Chinese restaurant "Great Wall Succulent Best Chinese Food" prides itself on using authentic, time-tested Chinese recipes to the public. They...

Man Not Drunk Enough To Fully Enjoy 80’s Cover Band

Austin, TX -- John Sidwell, along with the rest of his khaki-clad office, sit quietly at their company Christmas party, still not drunk enough...
Recycling Day

Recycling Day Pinpoints Neighborhood Alcoholics

Round Rock, TX -- Every other Monday the recycling trucks arrive, announcing loudly to anyone within earshot which homes house the biggest alcoholics.  The...

Couple Moving To Texas Horrified To Learn Keeping Bacon Grease A Thing

Fort Worth, TX -- A couple who recently accepted job offers in Texas learned to their utter horror that Texans regularly save bacon grease for...
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