76.4 F
Austin
Sunday, September 27, 2020

Latest Trump University Poll Has Trump Ahead By Like, 1,000 points

New York, NY -- The Trump University Poll of Public Opinion has found that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by like, 1,000 points.Professors...
Ted and Heidi Cruz

Heidi Cruz Voices Support for Straight Divorce

Houston, TX --  In a news conference near her Houston home, Heidi Cruz, wife of Senator Ted Cruz, today voiced her support of heterosexual...
Donald Trump

Trump Campaign Announces VP Short list

The Donald Trump Campaign recently announced their short list of Vice Presidential Candidates.  Kevin Bacon"Kevin is literally the most well-connected man on the planet.  If...
Grandmother

Grandmother’s Assessment of Candidates: “Well, Bless Their Hearts”

College Station, TX -- Jason Tatum's Grandmother offered her considered opinion of the 2016 Presidential candidates by beginning her comments with "Well, bless their...

Congress Consults with Comcast to Improve Approval Ratings

Washington, DC -- Congress is consulting with Comcast on how to improve its dismal public approval rating by the American public."Comcast is a true...

Conspiracy Theorists Gearing Up for Busy Campaign Season

Boerne, TX -- Conspiracy theorists are gearing up for what promises to be a busy campaign season.  With mounting controversies, the tight-knit community is...
David Cameron

Brexit: UK United With US in Political Lunacy

London, England -- The UK solidified its "Special Relationship" with the US in a historically loony vote on Thursday to exit the European Union. Cameron:  "I'll right...

Trump Denounces Grammar Nazis

Washington, DC -- President Trump today denounced the "Grammar Nazis who regularly misuninform people about my statements and tweets.""As I said in the campaign,...
Bernie Sanders

Sanders’ Wife Getting Tired Of Hearing “Come Feel the Bern, Baby”

Burlington, VT -- Jane O'Meara Sanders, wife of Senator Bernie Sanders, is really tired of the Senator ending most days with "Come feel the Bern,...

Hillary Hires Geek Squad To Secure Email Servers

Brooklyn, NY -- Hillary Clinton today announced that she has retained the services of the Geek Squad to secure her campaign and DNC email...
Skip to toolbar