76.5 F
Austin
Friday, July 3, 2020
Presidential Election Polling Location

States Approve Bars as Presidential Polling Locations

Austin, TX -- Citing the abysmal quality of this year's Presidential candidates, seven states so far have approved bars as presidential polling locations for...

Trump Denounces Grammar Nazis

Washington, DC -- President Trump today denounced the "Grammar Nazis who regularly misuninform people about my statements and tweets." "As I said in the campaign,...
Donald Trump

Trump Campaign Announces VP Short list

The Donald Trump Campaign recently announced their short list of Vice Presidential Candidates.   Kevin Bacon "Kevin is literally the most well-connected man on the planet. ┬áIf...

Scandal: Trump Has Still Not Attended Mandatory Presidential Orientation Training

Washington, DC -- White House HR staff have tried unsuccessfully for the last 6 months to have President Trump attend mandatory Presidential orientation training. Nancy...
Donald Trump

Trump Nomination To Be Truly Multicultural

Cleveland, OH -- When Donald Trump is nominated in Cleveland, OH on July 21, 2016, he promises that the affair will be truly "multicultural"....

Latest Trump University Poll Has Trump Ahead By Like, 1,000 points

New York, NY -- The Trump University Poll of Public Opinion has found that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by like, 1,000 points. Professors...

Americans Nostalgic For Days Of Simpler Scandals Like Watergate

Washington, DC -- Americans are growing nostalgic for simple, cut and dried scandals such as Nixon's Watergate break in, or even the Bill Clinton...

Boris Johnson Files Suit Against Trump’s Hair

London, England -- Boris Johnson, the English politician also known as the "Blonde Bombshell", has filed suit against Donald Trump for exploiting his signature...

Hillary Hires Geek Squad To Secure Email Servers

Brooklyn, NY -- Hillary Clinton today announced that she has retained the services of the Geek Squad to secure her campaign and DNC email...

Congress Consults with Comcast to Improve Approval Ratings

Washington, DC -- Congress is consulting with Comcast on how to improve its dismal public approval rating by the American public. "Comcast is a true...
Skip to toolbar