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Sunday, January 26, 2020

Latest Trump University Poll Has Trump Ahead By Like, 1,000 points

New York, NY -- The Trump University Poll of Public Opinion has found that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by like, 1,000 points. Professors...

Secret Service Frightened of Next Presidential Workload

Washington, DC -- Regardless of the outcome of the November elections, the Secret Service is frightened of their next Presidential workload. Our source at the...

Scandal: Trump Has Still Not Attended Mandatory Presidential Orientation Training

Washington, DC -- White House HR staff have tried unsuccessfully for the last 6 months to have President Trump attend mandatory Presidential orientation training. Nancy...

Lawyer Is Most Ethical, Respected Member of Trump Campaign

New York, NY -- Attorney Jared Johnson is by far the most ethical and respected member of the Trump for President campaign. "At first it...
Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Close to Completing Dark Ritual of Ascension

New York, NY -- Having gathered all Democratic political evil unto herself, Hillary Clinton prepares to complete her Dark Ritual of Ascension on July...

Americans Nostalgic For Days Of Simpler Scandals Like Watergate

Washington, DC -- Americans are growing nostalgic for simple, cut and dried scandals such as Nixon's Watergate break in, or even the Bill Clinton...

Trump Budget Contains $45B For Severance Packages

Washington, DC -- Donald Trump has set aside $45 Billion in the next federal budget for anticipated severance packages for federal workers. "I plan on...
Donald Trump

Trump Nomination To Be Truly Multicultural

Cleveland, OH -- When Donald Trump is nominated in Cleveland, OH on July 21, 2016, he promises that the affair will be truly "multicultural"....

Texas To Stop Accepting Californian Economic Refugees

Austin, TX -- Governor Greg Abbott announced today that Texas would no longer accept Californian economic refugees. "For too long now, Californians have been flooding...
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