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Election 2016 -- Vote Hard

Donald Trump

Trump Nomination To Be Truly Multicultural

Cleveland, OH -- When Donald Trump is nominated in Cleveland, OH on July 21, 2016, he promises that the affair will be truly "multicultural"....
Presidential Election Polling Location

States Approve Bars as Presidential Polling Locations

Austin, TX -- Citing the abysmal quality of this year's Presidential candidates, seven states so far have approved bars as presidential polling locations for...

Nicolas Cage To Hurl Trump’s Phone Into Volcano To Save Democracy

Washington, DC -- Nicolas Cage, sitting in counsel with his wisest friend, Gary Busey, determined this week that in order to save democracy, they...
Hillary Clinton Presidential Candidate Library

Hillary Planning Presidential Candidate Library

Brooklyn, NY --  Hillary Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee for President, is now accepting donations through the Clinton Foundation for her Presidential Candidate Library,...

Nation Ready For Facebook To Return To Cat Memes And Granny Spam

Akron, OH -- As the 2016 Presidential Election comes to a close, millions of Americans share a readiness for their Facebook feeds to return...
Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Close to Completing Dark Ritual of Ascension

New York, NY -- Having gathered all Democratic political evil unto herself, Hillary Clinton prepares to complete her Dark Ritual of Ascension on July...
Bernie Sanders

Sanders’ Wife Getting Tired Of Hearing “Come Feel the Bern, Baby”

Burlington, VT -- Jane O'Meara Sanders, wife of Senator Bernie Sanders, is really tired of the Senator ending most days with "Come feel the Bern,...

Lawyer Is Most Ethical, Respected Member of Trump Campaign

New York, NY -- Attorney Jared Johnson is by far the most ethical and respected member of the Trump for President campaign. "At first it...

Secret Service Frightened of Next Presidential Workload

Washington, DC -- Regardless of the outcome of the November elections, the Secret Service is frightened of their next Presidential workload. Our source at the...
Donald Trump

Trump Campaign Announces VP Short list

The Donald Trump Campaign recently announced their short list of Vice Presidential Candidates.   Kevin Bacon "Kevin is literally the most well-connected man on the planet.  If...