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Monday, February 17, 2020
Home Election 2016 -- Vote Hard

Election 2016 -- Vote Hard

Americans Nostalgic For Days Of Simpler Scandals Like Watergate

Washington, DC -- Americans are growing nostalgic for simple, cut and dried scandals such as Nixon's Watergate break in, or even the Bill Clinton...

Nicolas Cage To Hurl Trump’s Phone Into Volcano To Save Democracy

Washington, DC -- Nicolas Cage, sitting in counsel with his wisest friend, Gary Busey, determined this week that in order to save democracy, they...
Presidential Election Polling Location

States Approve Bars as Presidential Polling Locations

Austin, TX -- Citing the abysmal quality of this year's Presidential candidates, seven states so far have approved bars as presidential polling locations for...

Sanders Brings Slingshot to Clinton Meeting

New York, NY -- Hillary Clinton, surrounded by her campaign advisors and donors, strode forth from her campaign headquarters after her recent primary victories...

Latest Trump University Poll Has Trump Ahead By Like, 1,000 points

New York, NY -- The Trump University Poll of Public Opinion has found that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by like, 1,000 points. Professors...
Hillary Clinton Presidential Candidate Library

Hillary Planning Presidential Candidate Library

Brooklyn, NY --  Hillary Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee for President, is now accepting donations through the Clinton Foundation for her Presidential Candidate Library,...
Donald Trump

Trump Nomination To Be Truly Multicultural

Cleveland, OH -- When Donald Trump is nominated in Cleveland, OH on July 21, 2016, he promises that the affair will be truly "multicultural"....

Lawyer Is Most Ethical, Respected Member of Trump Campaign

New York, NY -- Attorney Jared Johnson is by far the most ethical and respected member of the Trump for President campaign. "At first it...

Secret Service Frightened of Next Presidential Workload

Washington, DC -- Regardless of the outcome of the November elections, the Secret Service is frightened of their next Presidential workload. Our source at the...
Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Close to Completing Dark Ritual of Ascension

New York, NY -- Having gathered all Democratic political evil unto herself, Hillary Clinton prepares to complete her Dark Ritual of Ascension on July...
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