Americans Nostalgic For Days Of Simpler Scandals Like Watergate
Washington, DC -- Americans are growing nostalgic for simple, cut and dried scandals such as Nixon's Watergate break in, or even the Bill Clinton...
Nicolas Cage To Hurl Trump’s Phone Into Volcano To Save Democracy
Washington, DC -- Nicolas Cage, sitting in counsel with his wisest friend, Gary Busey, determined this week that in order to save democracy, they...
States Approve Bars as Presidential Polling Locations
Austin, TX -- Citing the abysmal quality of this year's Presidential candidates, seven states so far have approved bars as presidential polling locations for...
Sanders Brings Slingshot to Clinton Meeting
New York, NY -- Hillary Clinton, surrounded by her campaign advisors and donors, strode forth from her campaign headquarters after her recent primary victories...
Latest Trump University Poll Has Trump Ahead By Like, 1,000 points
New York, NY -- The Trump University Poll of Public Opinion has found that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by like, 1,000 points.
Professors...
Hillary Planning Presidential Candidate Library
Brooklyn, NY -- Hillary Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee for President, is now accepting donations through the Clinton Foundation for her Presidential Candidate Library,...
Trump Nomination To Be Truly Multicultural
Cleveland, OH -- When Donald Trump is nominated in Cleveland, OH on July 21, 2016, he promises that the affair will be truly "multicultural"....
Lawyer Is Most Ethical, Respected Member of Trump Campaign
New York, NY -- Attorney Jared Johnson is by far the most ethical and respected member of the Trump for President campaign.
"At first it...
Secret Service Frightened of Next Presidential Workload
Washington, DC -- Regardless of the outcome of the November elections, the Secret Service is frightened of their next Presidential workload.
Our source at the...
Hillary Clinton Close to Completing Dark Ritual of Ascension
New York, NY -- Having gathered all Democratic political evil unto herself, Hillary Clinton prepares to complete her Dark Ritual of Ascension on July...
