Sanders’ Wife Getting Tired Of Hearing “Come Feel the Bern, Baby”
Burlington, VT -- Jane O'Meara Sanders, wife of Senator Bernie Sanders, is really tired of the Senator ending most days with "Come feel the Bern,...
Nicolas Cage To Hurl Trump’s Phone Into Volcano To Save Democracy
Washington, DC -- Nicolas Cage, sitting in counsel with his wisest friend, Gary Busey, determined this week that in order to save democracy, they...
Trump Nomination To Be Truly Multicultural
Cleveland, OH -- When Donald Trump is nominated in Cleveland, OH on July 21, 2016, he promises that the affair will be truly "multicultural"....
States Approve Bars as Presidential Polling Locations
Austin, TX -- Citing the abysmal quality of this year's Presidential candidates, seven states so far have approved bars as presidential polling locations for...
Sanders Brings Slingshot to Clinton Meeting
New York, NY -- Hillary Clinton, surrounded by her campaign advisors and donors, strode forth from her campaign headquarters after her recent primary victories...
Hillary Clinton Close to Completing Dark Ritual of Ascension
New York, NY -- Having gathered all Democratic political evil unto herself, Hillary Clinton prepares to complete her Dark Ritual of Ascension on July...
Trump Campaign Announces VP Short list
The Donald Trump Campaign recently announced their short list of Vice Presidential Candidates.
Kevin Bacon
"Kevin is literally the most well-connected man on the planet. If...
Congress Consults with Comcast to Improve Approval Ratings
Washington, DC -- Congress is consulting with Comcast on how to improve its dismal public approval rating by the American public.
"Comcast is a true...
Grandmother’s Assessment of Candidates: “Well, Bless Their Hearts”
College Station, TX -- Jason Tatum's Grandmother offered her considered opinion of the 2016 Presidential candidates by beginning her comments with "Well, bless their...
Latest Trump University Poll Has Trump Ahead By Like, 1,000 points
New York, NY -- The Trump University Poll of Public Opinion has found that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by like, 1,000 points.
Professors...
